His Footsteps .
When I look behind He Is Not There For Me .
Happy Birthday Raqibah Bte Abdul Razak!
=]
All 23 of us will lift you up, always.
<3
All 23 of us will lift you up, always.
<3
Be prepared to get saboh-ed tomorrow.
Be prepared.
Be prepared.
-This city is full of lonely hearts all the gutters are filled with broken parts-
And I wonder why I'm still into you over and over again.
Dini, hold on.
Dini, hold on.
9:23 PM
Every little past frustration;
I see everyone's revolving into cliques now. Slowly, but surely. I don't really know how to fit in. The truth is, I can fit into any clique I like. It's just that, I don't want to. I don't know. I'm just so confused right now.../
Maybe I should take some senior-therapy. Which according to some cousin works. Only I don't like cuddling to seniors and then becoming like..Anisa? Or Aqilah? Hahaa. School is becoming quite a chore. Like, sometimes I just want to lie down and stare at the ceiling all day. Or maybe go backpack around Singapore and stay in a B&B. Yes, that'll be cool. Or I want to sit down beside the Esplanade and watch the skateboarders and the minahs and the working moms and dads pass by, and I want to write a poem for every single one of them. Okay fat chance.
This so sentimental but I opened my box that has all contents related to '08 and among the junk is: letters, letters, letters. Vday wrappers, cards(I misss). Affirmation ceremony invitation, 1P Orientation pic with PSLs. Some stoopid platoon pics that I actually printed out(Hudas creation being one of them).
Somehow I know I've been drifting apart from everyone, confining myself in this thin solitary space. I don't know, maybe it's this senior I have to pretend with everytime I see her. It hurts, alot, it's so sickening putting on a smile and having to sit with her when I want to sit with other people. Maybe it's the CTs. Maybe it's because all this friendship stuff, it's making me sick.
I need to go shopping. See a movie. Be more outgoing. Like a normal, 13year old girl on hiatus.
6:25 PM
Yesterday I had to accompany dear shidaa to buy her jeans which she didn't even end up buying, cause she thought the jeans were 20 bucks but it ended up as 35 bucks. Oh and the auntie was like,"It's NewFuture! It's a brand! Girl, have you heard of that brand or not?" (pointedly looks at me).
"Uh, no, not exactly."
So we left the shop vexed, or rather got kicked out, I would say. And that girlfriend of mine had to keep saying "fuck jeans" all the way. And it ended up as me buying some khakis. O: And we spent the rest of the evening people-watching and perhaps even boy-scouting(although about three-quarters of them weren't my type). I finally reached home about 9.30++?? Can't really remember.
And today was supposed to be spent with you and them; but everyone has their commitments. So as shida would say, Just Fuck It.
D&T is getting to me.In a bad way. And my maths will be in even deeper shit, you know. If I don't start to buck UP.
Do a little jig-jig
All I see is your love
I don't want to know
What the future brings;
Is what the present holds.
All I see is your love
I don't want to know
What the future brings;
Is what the present holds.
1:48 PM
I LOVE ALPHA '08!!
lover baby.
And, I LOVE JASMINE! Hopefully, she'll get through all the admin craapp and be one of us(: I didn't even know I was promoting my CCA until she said she wanted to join. HAHA. Did you know EL was my second choice? Dum-dum. Yes, it was.
lover baby.
And, I LOVE JASMINE! Hopefully, she'll get through all the admin craapp and be one of us(: I didn't even know I was promoting my CCA until she said she wanted to join. HAHA. Did you know EL was my second choice? Dum-dum. Yes, it was.
There was parade today. Hmm, it's interesting when you look at it from a different angle. And I realize, the www domain is dangerous; veryy dangerous. It's just that your waterworks couldn't stop until I realized you didn't mean it. What's done is done. We've gotten so far from our first scolding, now every shout is just a sting to the skin, but a sting nonetheless.
I'm looking forward to the weekend.,,Saturday&Sunday hurry upppp. And next Tuesday too(:
Sepet's tomorrowwwww=]
I'm looking forward to the weekend.,,Saturday&Sunday hurry upppp. And next Tuesday too(:
Sepet's tomorrowwwww=]
There still was that silent smile
But just that empty, poignant feeling
Now.
I'm sad. Aku sedih=(
But just that empty, poignant feeling
Now.
I'm sad. Aku sedih=(
6:16 PM
Your eyes speak more than your lips do.
Stop giving me that fucking innocent look.
Gone through your shit one time too many.
First and foremost, I will like to dedicate today to: Alpha '08-you're the light to all my sorrows, all retarded cedarians and most of all The Gang, I miss you so bloody much sometimes it hurts.
Cedar Sports Day was all right, no actually, it was fun. There were a few hiccups here and there like the rain, yes omg the rain. And the fact that I almost died three times in a row along with Aqilah and Shafeena, haha. Then there was the time where I was reading my paper and Diviya and Beautrice were arguing about something, till Beautrice finally asked her to shut up. Then I started laughing cos the article I was reading bore the headline 'Judge asks protestors to 'shut up''. And Diviya's moronic laugh when she saw the article just made me laugh harder to stitches. And the inter-unit relay, although ncc didn't win, we did try our best(: Rose, omg rose, the seniors all looked damn cute. Maryam laughed like what, man.
Wasn't that last paragraph so random; I'm toeing that fine line. Okay I feel like shutting myself up. Shut up, diyanah, shut up. Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh I feel all lovable and mushy to everyone these days. Especially to you.
Wait that sounded wrong.
Stop giving me that fucking innocent look.
Gone through your shit one time too many.
First and foremost, I will like to dedicate today to: Alpha '08-you're the light to all my sorrows, all retarded cedarians and most of all The Gang, I miss you so bloody much sometimes it hurts.
Cedar Sports Day was all right, no actually, it was fun. There were a few hiccups here and there like the rain, yes omg the rain. And the fact that I almost died three times in a row along with Aqilah and Shafeena, haha. Then there was the time where I was reading my paper and Diviya and Beautrice were arguing about something, till Beautrice finally asked her to shut up. Then I started laughing cos the article I was reading bore the headline 'Judge asks protestors to 'shut up''. And Diviya's moronic laugh when she saw the article just made me laugh harder to stitches. And the inter-unit relay, although ncc didn't win, we did try our best(: Rose, omg rose, the seniors all looked damn cute. Maryam laughed like what, man.
Wasn't that last paragraph so random; I'm toeing that fine line. Okay I feel like shutting myself up. Shut up, diyanah, shut up. Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh I feel all lovable and mushy to everyone these days. Especially to you.
Wait that sounded wrong.
4:16 PM
&so I've realised
I'll seek your solace;
I'll always cherish your perpetual smile.
I'll always cherish your perpetual smile.
It's been a roller-coaster week, and I still think I'm at the top. Fleeting dreams that rush me on towards dawn; hoping, hoping for a reprieve. Grant it for me, please?
Mornings now are always delivered with a pained sigh. I think, Cedar's been great so far. It's just that, there's nobody I can really, really just spill out to, someone who's able to drag my ass off to be crazy. I still remember the bubble tea times, and the times we kept impersonating celebrities we thought were bitches. No one here wants to do that.
The times I sneaked off some of his fries, when he pretended to be Ms Sarinah. The times he shared with me about his new girlfriend.
What am I doing right now. Sentimentalising on the past that we weaved, as soft and pink as cotton candy. But as far as I can see out into the future, it's a blind alley.
Syaf,Nina,Shol,Fiq&Hannanaremissed.
&hell.
Wednesday'sgoodbye.
Mornings now are always delivered with a pained sigh. I think, Cedar's been great so far. It's just that, there's nobody I can really, really just spill out to, someone who's able to drag my ass off to be crazy. I still remember the bubble tea times, and the times we kept impersonating celebrities we thought were bitches. No one here wants to do that.
The times I sneaked off some of his fries, when he pretended to be Ms Sarinah. The times he shared with me about his new girlfriend.
What am I doing right now. Sentimentalising on the past that we weaved, as soft and pink as cotton candy. But as far as I can see out into the future, it's a blind alley.
Syaf,Nina,Shol,Fiq&Hannanaremissed.
&hell.
Wednesday'sgoodbye.
2:08 PM
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